by Dr. Q Zaidi
Boys – and men – are far more likely to have life changing or life threatening accidents, largely because of the risks they take. This stark reality reflects a complex interplay of biology, psychology, and social conditioning that shapes how young males navigate their development. Understanding this pattern is crucial for parents, educators, and mental health professionals who want to support boys in making healthy choices while still allowing them the freedom to grow and explore.
Risk-taking is often defined negatively. Risk taking behaviour refers to actions that potentially expose individuals, and sometimes those around them to harm or significant danger, which can lead to consequences such as injury, illness, social problems, or even mortality. Because of this, risk-taking is often viewed as something to be avoided. However, not all risk is the same. There is an important difference between healthy and unhealthy risk-taking.
The connection between risk-taking and mental health is profound. When boys learn to channel their natural impulses toward healthy challenges, they develop resilience, confidence, and emotional regulation. Conversely, when risk-taking becomes destructive, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and long-term mental health struggles. In the UK, where 1 in 5 adults live with a common mental health condition, understanding how to guide young people toward positive risk-taking becomes essential for prevention and early intervention.
The Critical Window of Adolescence
Adolescence is one of the most vulnerable yet formative stages of life when these differences matter most. As children move through puberty and begin to form their own sense of identity, they naturally start to experiment, make independent decisions, and push against limits and rules. It’s a time filled with curiosity, exploration, and change and its also a period of vulnerability. Learning how to take risks in healthy ways is crucial at this stage because it helps build confidence, resilience, and emotional maturity.
During this period, young people experience significant changes in their stress response systems. The fight or flight response becomes more sensitive, and stress hormones fluctuate as the body adapts to rapid physical and psychological changes. This heightened state can make stressful situations feel more intense, leading to either avoidance behaviors or increased risk-taking as coping mechanisms.
The sympathetic nervous system, which governs our body’s response to perceived threats, is particularly active during adolescence. This can manifest as increased heart rate, muscle tension, and heightened awareness in challenging situations. For boys specifically, these biological changes often coincide with social pressures to demonstrate bravery and independence, creating a perfect storm for potentially dangerous decision-making.
In many ways, society doesn’t make that easy. From a young age, boys are often told to “man up”, to hide their emotions “boys don’t cry” “Be brave and don’t cry” how often have I have heard phrases like this being spoken this I can’t even begin to say and they have to to prove their worth through being tough hide their tears and not to be weak.
These messages can inadvertently direct them towards unhealthy or even dangerous behaviours, teaching them that bravery means recklessness and strength means ignoring fear. When courage is confused with danger, boys begin to believe that to be a “real man” is to take unnecessary risks. In truth, they need permission to take healthy risks to challenge themselves, to fail, to learn, and to grow rather than to endanger themselves to feel valued.
Biology and the Developing Brain
Risk-taking follows a fairly predictable pattern. It’s relatively low during childhood, increases sharply during adolescence, and for most eases again in adulthood. This spike occurs because teenagers’ brains are still developing the ability to regulate impulses and assess consequences, even as their reward systems are firing at full speed.
As a result, many adolescents, especially boys, tend to underestimate risk and overestimate reward. They crave excitement and social acceptance, often acting before they think. This isn’t defiance; it’s development. The challenge for adults in their lives is not to eliminate risk-taking but to guide it to help boys seek challenges that build their self esteem and self worth and not break it.
During puberty, testosterone increases significantly, which heightens sensation-seeking and competitiveness. The part of the brain that helps with planning and self-control the prefrontal cortex is still developing during adolescence and continues to develop till mid twenties in boys. The ability to make fully formed decisions is diminished which is why teenagers are more prone to acting on impulse before thinking things through. This combination can make boys more impulsive and more likely to take risks for social approval or excitement.
This biological reality has significant implications for mental health. When boys experience chronic stress from constantly being told to suppress emotions or take dangerous risks to prove themselves, it can lead to elevated blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and other physical symptoms. The body reacts to this ongoing pressure by maintaining a heightened state of alertness, which over time can contribute to anxiety disorders and depression.
Having a better understanding of the biology can help parents to respond with guidance rather than punishment. Instead of shutting down risk altogether, parents can direct it towards safe, constructive but challenging outlets eg sport, adventure, creative projects, rather than leaving them to express it through danger or defiance.
When boys feel stressed or feel overwhelmed by expectations to take dangerous risks, they may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some might use recreational drugs or alcohol to manage anxiety, while others might develop behavioural responses that include aggression or withdrawal. These patterns can persist into adulthood if not addressed during the crucial developmental years.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Risk-Taking
When managed well, risk-taking can be a powerful force for growth. Healthy risks are those that help boys stretch further than they thought they could for example joining a new club, speaking in public, standing up for a classmate, or exploring a new skill. These kinds of experiences encourage problem-solving, confidence, and perseverance.
Healthy risk-taking activities provide emotional support and build mental well being without exposing young people to serious harm. Examples include:
- Trying out for a sports team or drama production
- Learning a challenging new skill like rock climbing or martial arts
- Taking on leadership roles in school or community organizations
- Engaging in public speaking or debate
- Exploring creative expression through art, music, or writing
- Volunteering for causes they care about
Unhealthy risks, by contrast, are those that can cause real and lasting harm experimenting with drugs or alcohol, fighting, unsafe driving, or taking part in online dares. The difference lies in guidance, limits, and emotional awareness. When adults create environments that support reflection and control, they give young men/ boys the tools to assess risk wisely.
Unhealthy risk-taking often stems from a desire to relieve stress or cope with difficult emotions without proper support systems. When boys lack healthy outlets for their natural drive toward challenge and excitement, they may gravitate toward dangerous alternatives. This is where mental health information becomes crucial – helping boys understand the connection between their feelings and their choices.
The key is teaching boys to recognise when they feel stressed and providing them with tools to manage stress effectively. Deep breathing exercises, physical activity, and talking through problems with trusted adults can all serve as alternatives to dangerous risk-taking. When boys learn these stress management techniques early, they’re better equipped to handle acute stress and avoid long term stress that can lead to serious health problems.
Parents play a crucial role here. Encouraging healthy risk-taking begins with creating a home where mistakes are part of the learning process. Our children including boys need to be inoculated with failure and they have to know that it’s safe to fail that missteps are not evidence of weakness but stepping stones to growth. Parents have to normalise this by sharing their own failures, talking about what they learned, focusing on the effort not just the outcome. At the same time, there must be clear rules to protect from serious harm. It is a hard balance between, freedom to explore within a framework of care and accountability, no one said parenting was easy.
Entitlement and Responsibility
Another important aspect of raising boys today is tackling entitlement. Many boys grow up with subtle cultural messages that suggest their views or needs carry more weight or that leadership means dominance rather than cooperation. This sense of entitlement can make it difficult for them to handle criticism, accept responsibility, or empathise with others.
This entitlement can contribute to stress symptoms and mental health challenges when boys encounter situations where their expectations aren’t met. Learning to cope with disappointment, criticism, and failure is essential for developing emotional resilience and preventing more serious mental health conditions like post traumatic stress disorder from developing after significant setbacks.
Parents and educators have a vital role in changing this. Teaching humility, empathy, and respect for differences is crucial because it creates an understanding that strength is not about control but about character. Encouraging them to listen, to be inclusive, to apologise when necessary, and to recognise others’ contributions helps redefine what it means to be confident and capable. When confidence is built on learning from failure, acceptance, respect humility and compassion, it creates boys who respect limits their own and others’.
When boys learn to manage their emotions and take responsibility for their actions, they develop better tools for managing stress and maintaining their mental well being. They learn that seeking help isn’t weakness – whether that’s asking for support from a family member, accessing confidential support services, or even reaching out for emergency help when needed. This foundation serves them well throughout their lives.
The System and its Role
No boy grows up in isolation. Family, school, peers, and community together shape how boys understand risk, belonging, and strength.
At home, relationships grounded in respect, trust and open communication encourage safe exploration. When families create environments where boys can talk openly about their feelings without judgment, it reduces the likelihood that they’ll turn to dangerous behaviours to cope with stress. Parents who model healthy stress management – whether through exercise, breathing exercises, tai chi, or other activities – provide concrete examples of how to maintain well being without resorting to harmful coping mechanisms.
In school, feeling known and valued gives boys the confidence to take intellectual and emotional risks. Schools that focus on character development alongside academic achievement help boys understand that true strength comes from integrity, not dominance. Educational environments that teach stress management as part of the curriculum prepare boys with practical tools they can use throughout their lives.
Among peers, healthy friendships can either reduce or amplify risk-taking, depending on what the group values. When peer groups celebrate academic achievement, community service, or artistic expression, they create positive outlets for boys’ natural competitiveness. Conversely, when peer pressure centers around dangerous behaviours, it can lead boys toward choices that affect their mental health negatively.
When communities model inclusion, empathy, and respect, boys learn that courage is not about danger but about integrity and contribution. Community organisations, sports clubs, and mentorship programs all play vital roles in providing structured opportunities for healthy risk-taking while building support networks that promote mental well being.
The HPA axis (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis), which regulates our stress response, functions more effectively when boys have strong support systems. When they experience chronic stress without adequate support, it can lead to a range of health problems including increased blood pressure, weight gain, sleep disturbances, and even conditions like irritable bowel syndrome. Having multiple sources of support – family, school, peers, and community – helps buffer against these negative effects.
Research consistently shows that young people with strong social connections have better mental health outcomes and are less likely to engage in dangerous risk-taking behaviors. When boys feel they belong and have value within their communities, they’re more likely to seek help when they need it and less likely to turn to harmful coping strategies.
For young people dealing with financial problems, family stress, or other challenges, having access to mental health information and support services becomes even more critical. Communities that provide easy access to counseling, peer support groups, and other resources help ensure that temporary stress doesn’t develop into long-term mental health problems.
Final Thoughts
Risk-taking during adolescence isn’t something to eliminate it’s something to guide with care, patience, and perspective. Boys need opportunities to experience challenge, uncertainty, and failure, because these are the very things that teach resilience, creativity, and decision-making.
Understanding the connection between risk-taking and mental health in the UK context requires recognizing that boys face unique biological and social pressures during their development. When we provide appropriate guidance and support, we can help them channel their natural drive toward challenge into positive outlets that build confidence and character.
When parents, teachers, and mentors the whole system offer structure without smothering, and freedom without neglect, boys develop insight along with confidence. Helping boys take healthy risks isn’t about holding them back it’s about guiding them forward with purpose. By nurturing courage, empathy, and self-awareness, we as a society can help them grow into men who are contributing, respectful, and compassionate members of society men who seek not to dominate, but to make a difference.
The goal is not to eliminate stress from boys’ lives – some stress is necessary for growth. Rather, it’s about teaching them to recognise when they experience stress and providing them with healthy tools to deal with it. Whether that’s through physical activity, creative expression, talking with trusted adults, or practicing mindfulness techniques, boys need multiple strategies in their toolkit.
When boys learn to take healthy risks, manage stress effectively, and build strong relationships, they develop the foundation for lifelong mental well being. They learn that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and that true courage comes from standing up for others and contributing to their communities.
For parents and educators reading this, remember that your role is not to eliminate all risks from boys’ lives, but to help them develop the judgment to choose wisely. By creating environments that celebrate growth, learning from mistakes, and emotional intelligence, you’re investing in a generation of men who will lead with compassion rather than dominance.
Mental health UK services and resources are available for families who need additional support in this journey. Sometimes professional guidance can provide the tools and perspectives needed to help boys navigate these crucial developmental years successfully. Remember, seeking help early is always better than waiting until problems become severe.
References: Romer et al. (2017); Duell & Steinberg (2019); Blakemore (2018); Judd (2019); CDC (2018); Institute of Medicine (2011).
