In a recent episode of Brunch with Noreen on RTHK Radio 3, clinical psychologist Dr. Quratulain Zaidi sat down with host Noreen Mir to dissect two deeply resonant and increasingly relevant cultural phenomena: toxic masculinity and the trad wife movement. What followed was a bold, honest, and eye-opening conversation that every parent, educator, and young adult should hear.
Let’s talk toxic masculinity.
Dr. Zaidi kicked things off by clarifying that toxic masculinity isn’t about masculinity itself, but about a dangerous version of it – one that promotes aggression, dominance, emotional suppression, and the rejection of anything deemed “feminine.” These aren’t just abstract ideas floating around academic journals — they’re active, daily pressures placed on young men through social media, pop culture, and peer dynamics.
Online figures like Andrew Tate and other “manfluencers” play into this, glorifying wealth, power, emotional detachment, and the objectification of women. “If that’s all young boys are seeing, that becomes their blueprint for manhood,” Dr. Zaidi warned. Left unchecked, this leads to alienation from healthy emotional models and deeper vulnerability to extremist ideologies.
And it’s not just boys who are affected.
The ripple effect on girls and young women is equally alarming.
When women are reduced to their looks or their ability to please, they’re robbed of autonomy and potential. As Dr. Zaidi rightly put it, “Imagine living a hundred years and your only value-add is how attractive you are. That’s a terrifying place to exist.”
Then came the twist – the ‘Trad Wife’ trend.
If you haven’t yet stumbled across vintage-filtered videos of apron-clad women baking, cleaning, and glorifying the 1950s housewife lifestyle, you soon will. Known as the ‘Trad Wife’ phenomenon, this trend romanticises domestic submission as a woman’s highest aspiration.
Dr. Zaidi’s take? “Choice is beautiful. But projecting one lifestyle as superior reinforces outdated gender norms and stifles ambition.” While she applauds anyone’s decision to stay home and raise a family, she worries that the trad wife aesthetic is too often pushed as the only desirable route for women, especially on social media platforms where algorithms create echo chambers.
What’s worse? These ideologies are colliding.
Toxic masculinity demands women stay in their place. The trad wife movement delivers them, smiling, to that role. The result? A subtle but powerful reinforcement of gender inequality under the guise of choice.
So what do we do?
According to Dr. Zaidi, it starts at the dinner table. Literally. These important conversations about power, identity, gender roles, and mental health, must happen at home, with our children. We can’t rely on schools or algorithms to provide balanced perspectives. If we’re not helping our children make sense of the messages they consume, someone else who is often someone less qualified and far more harmful eventually will.
This isn’t about demonising men or shaming women who find joy in homemaking. It’s about preserving choice, dismantling pressure, and building a society where emotional wellbeing, mutual respect, and equality are not just ideals, but everyday realities.
As Dr. Zaidi says, “We’ve fought too hard for equality to take steps backward now. Let’s not undo it with a hashtag.”
