This month, Dr. Kristin Zeising, MindnLife’s certified sex therapist, speaks to SCMP and gives her views on how to help you get in the mood, explains the differences in spontaneous and responsive desire, and also highlights the importance of maintenance sex.
There are different ways to feel turned on and be “in the mood”. As Dr. Zeising points out “If you treat sex like a menu, where there are many different ways to be sensual, erotic and sexual, there may be other behaviours that can be pleasurable without having to engage in sexual intercourse or having to feel ‘on’. Remember, sex is not just intercourse and performance. It’s way more broad than that; it’s whatever you find pleasurable.”
From the article:
From visiting an adult sex shop together to a night on the dance floor, there are many ways for long-term couples to turn up the heat. It is important to be in the mood because it allows for a more intimate connection, says Dr. Zeising, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist.
People in long-term, committed relationships often find themselves stuck in daily routines or too preoccupied to have any spare capacity for engaging in intimate relations with their partner, whether physical or emotional.
When you are exhausted, it is understandable you won’t have any sexual desire or be in any state of mind for deeper interaction.
However, people in a new relationship naturally find it much easier to get in the mood because they are entranced by their partner due to the novelty of the relationship. Many colloquially refer to this as the “honeymoon period”, and this phase can vary from anything from a few months to a year.
You can view the full article in the South China Morning Post by clicking here.
Dr. Kristin Zeising is a registered clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist with MindnLife in Hong Kong. Contact MindnLife today and find out how we can help you.
