It is common for people to stay together for their children. They fear that their child might come from a broken home. These ideas do make sense; divorce can be considered an adverse childhood experience. However, sometimes, getting a divorce is the safer option for your child. Domestic violence, abuse, neglect, and parental conflict can … Read more
It’s been about a decade since Brown’s research popularised the term “grey divorce” to describe this phenomenon – something that used to be a rarity, but now has become much more common. “Well over a third of people who are getting divorced now are over the age of 50.” More than one in three people … Read more
The decision to end a marriage is challenging, and it kick-starts a cascade of events that require many more important decisions. One is how to actually get the divorce in Hong Kong, this might be through the courts or via mediation. Here, Dr. Zaidi of MindNLife looks at a different method – one that can … Read more
If you’re dating a narcissist, you might be experiencing narcissistic abuse. Leaving an abusive relationship is far from easy, as abusers will do anything to maintain the power and control they need. Research shows it takes an average of seven attempts to leave an abusive relationship, and at times leaving a narcissist can seem impossible. … Read more
Dating a narcissist can be dangerous territory, as it can lead to narcissistic abuse in extreme cases. While just about anyone can display narcissistic behaviour from time to time, for someone to be diagnosed with true narcissist personality disorder (NPD) they must meet a specific set of criteria. This mental health condition is a type … Read more
In this blog post we explore why we may get stuck in repetitive arguments with our partners, despite our best intentions to break these patterns: Where does relationship conflict come from? We tend to see the same conflicts in relationships repeat over time. In other words, our partner’s behaviour may trigger us again and again. … Read more
Intimacy during the Holidays The holidays are usually when people come together to celebrate, connect and bond with other family members and friends. However, here in Hong Kong, we are still experiencing travel restrictions and challenges due to the coronavirus. Therefore what can typically be a stressful time of year is made even more challenging. … Read more
Dr. Quratulain Zaidi of MindNLife looks at society’s tendency to normalise spanking and child discipline, and how we as parents can do better. “Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.” This quote by prominent health administrator C Everett Koop reflects my own strong belief on being a … Read more
Divorce is often perceived negatively, despite its prevalence. In the US, nearly 41% of first marriages end in divorce, and the emotional turmoil that follows can be overwhelming for both parties involved—especially when infidelity is a factor. In these moments, guilt, anger, sadness, and anxiety often dominate, making it difficult to imagine parting ways with … Read more
Conflict and anger are natural in any relationship. But when the parties involved don’t know how to manage, contain or neutralise these suppressed emotions, these bottled-up feelings more often than not lead to anger. Many family and relationship counsellors have now reported an increase in couples’ conflicts and anger issues at home. Find out how … Read more
It’s challenging enough for married couples to move to any new city, and Hong Kong is no different. If expat couples are not vigilant enough to recognise the pitfalls of living in Hong Kong, this can lead to divorce. I spoke to Expat Living to examine these pressures and offered advice on how to overcome … Read more
It would be no surprise to many that expat living in Hong Kong can put pressure on a relationship. Couples living in Hong Kong, including those with young families, often come to me for counselling because they seem to have lost their connection with one other. What I tend to find is that these couples … Read more
It can be easy to assume that good relationships are effortless and frictionless, with each party able to completely be themselves, and ask for anything and get it. As DR QURATULAIN ZAIDI of MindNLife explains, a good relationship takes constant work – especially when it comes to dealing with conflict. Once upon a time, many (but not … Read more
Talking about mental illness amongst family members is difficult and not a subject most people are comfortable discussing. Mental illness of a family member affects everyone in the family. But perhaps talking about it can help make the situation better for everyone. Dr. Monica Borschel recently contributed to an article in the South China Morning … Read more
DR Quratulain Zaidi of MindNLife discusses strategies for adult relationships where one or both partners have ADHD and how to spot ADHD symptoms. The meaning of ADHD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that involves problems with attention, concentration, impulse control and increased activity levels. Millions of people are affected by … Read more
Some say that Hong Kong is a marriage graveyard. But can a particular city really have an effect on your marriage? Moving to a new country, new job, new house and a new cultural experience can be exciting but having to leave behind familiar people and places will eventually take a toll on anyone. The … Read more
PHOTO BY VIKTOR HANACEK I’ve previously written about how Hong Kong is a “marriage graveyard” due to some of the unique stressors in our lovely metropolis, but it doesn’t have to be death and destruction when you find that special someone. In fact, in a pressure-cooker city like Hong Kong, a good relationship can … Read more